Monday, December 19, 2016

Desensitizing - A Subtle Way to Deceive Yourself

You can desensitize to almost anything. You can get used to pain, messy rooms, hunger, tastes, smells, and lots of other things. Some of these things are not really that big of a deal when you desensitize to them. However, you can also get used to things like missing your devotions, hearing God's name used in vain, looking at immodest pictures, lying, procrastinating, and more that many would consider as much more serious things.

How does this happen?

This was on my heart today and although I am obviously not educated in this area, I would like to address it from my personal experience.

I have found that, especially when I am at home where there are no pressures of people watching me or schedules to keep me on track, there is a subtle deception that takes place in the form of desensitization. You don't realize that you've slipped up until you're way down the wrong road. It is one of Satan's most powerful methods, at least in my life, and maybe you've experienced the same thing.

When I am home, I tend to relax. When I relax, I put my guards down. What can possibly happen to me when I'm at home, right? But I have found that home is one of the most dangerous places just because I believe that nothing bad can happen.

In reality, that's where the most danger is.

I've watched several things happen in my life lately and realized how insensitive I have become. First, I noticed my room.

I grew up with my room being one of the messiest in the house. Actually, I probably would have been pretty close to one of the messiest in the world. I NEVER cleaned it up unless I was threatened. Usually Mom would clean it for me, or if it was just too much, she would ground me until "it was spotless." I was usually grounded for a very long time and usually never actually finished cleaning.

But when I got a little older (in my late teens), I began to keep my room cleaner. In fact, it usually was so clean that I had a hard time sleeping at night if it was even a little messy. Some nights I would stay up for hours just to clean my room so I can actually fall asleep. I wouldn't say I was a neat freak, but I did like things to be clean and kept in order.

Over the last few months, especially at school, my view on cleanliness has been slowly changing. I have realized that not everyone else has the same view that I do about keeping things picked up. Living in a dorm has been difficult in this, especially since it is ALWAYS trashed in the hallways and lobby and my room isn't very picked up either. Some things I just can't control with a roommate and things happen.

Then I came home and my room was full of boxes and wedding stuff. My sister lived on the floor and I in my hammock and we had our stuff everywhere. It was chaotic. Then, she moved out after Saturday. My room still has all of my stuff everywhere.

Why? Because I have desensitized myself to it.

This didn't just happen with my room, but also with my devotions. In the past, if I allow myself to slip up for one day, I usually don't get back into it for at least a week. It takes weeks to get myself out of the habit of watching random things on the internet that I probably shouldn't be seeing. But if I do it again for one day after I've broken that habit, I fall right back into it.

The same things have happened with eating meals, hearing curse words, seeing immodest pictures, and so many other things. I usually abhor those things, but they slowly creep back in, especially at home.

What am I going to do about it?

I'm going to clean my room. I'm going to do my devotions. I'm going to ask God to forgive me and bring me back on track and ask Him to keep me there in His strength.

For yourself, catch it before it gets too far. God can pull people out of anything, but please don't get to the point that the consequences will stay with you forever. Keep your guard up, Satan does want you to fail. Don't relax spiritually.

After all, we are in the middle of a war. But you know what? We already know who is going to win. Just don't lose the little battles along the way, and if you do, ask forgiveness and move on.

Don't deceive yourself. Keep walking with the Lord.

In Christ,
Megan

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