Sunday, July 22, 2012

Testimony (by Megan)

I (Megan) will be the first one to share for this new series, "Testimony".

          To start things off, I was saved by the grace of Jesus at a very early age. In fact, it was so early that I don't even remember how old I was or when it happened!

        I grew up in a Christian home and environment with Godly parents and many siblings. My father was the pastor of all the churches we moved to and from, and my mother was very active in church ministry. Our family moved from one house to another, but we still stayed in the same town and the same church. I made good friends and grew up better off than many children of my age, even though we may not have had as much money or things as they did. God provided for our family over and over again whenever we needed Him most.

     Around the age of nine, I realized that even though I was a "good kid" and went to church and all, I was missing something vital to being a TRUE "good kid". At church, I faked being perfect and kind. I always tried to be someone that I wasn't. I was ALWAYS getting into fights with my best friend over nothing. And at home I was the most spoiled brat anyone had ever met. I wasn't a well behaved kid and I knew it. I laid on my bed one day and cried harder than I ever had before, even harder than when I was spanked for doing something wrong (believe me, it was the furthest thing from child abuse; and I thank my parents for correcting me that way instead of letting me continue my selfish way of life). That day, I prayed to God to come into my heart (because I was unsure of my salvation) and to make me a better servant to Him.

       I started reading my Bible more often and matured in the tiniest little bit. I realize that not many people may have seen a big difference in me, but I felt a huge difference in my heart. 

       I learned many things about Jesus and His love for me from church and from my mom homeschooling me. I thought that life was just beginning to be easier for me and that I had finally become that "good kid" that I was striving so hard to be, then........


        I was old enough to join the youth group. My teacher frightened me to death. I wasn't mature enough to understand the way he taught our group. I began to hate going to church. I was so lonely for attention from boys. I wanted a soul-mate, the best friend to have that would always be by my side in whatever circumstance. So I made up some imaginary friends in my mind who I always looked to for comfort, but I never got any. Not once was I relived from my pains from those "friends". I was just about to breaking point when God decided to strike my mother to get my attention. He made her have cancer.

        I was so frightened that it took my mind off of all my selfish pains. I didn't know where to turn. That night, I wanted comfort so badly that I wanted to die because I couldn't find it from anywhere. I laid on the bathroom floor and cried. This time I wasn't crying because I wanted comfort or attention, but rather because I had finally found it. I wanted to find that soul-mate and best friend, and I finally did. It was Jesus. I prayed to Him and apologized for ignoring Him the whole time and asked Him to be my best friend. I was so relived from the burden that I was carrying for so long, it felt so good to know that I was loved.

         I made myself read the Bible every night that I could and was feeling a big improvement in my life. I felt ready to take on the world with Jesus by my side, then dad announced to us one night that we were moving. Moving away. Far away. To a whole different state kind of far away. Believe me, we moved really far away!
      I was heartbroken to hear that I was leaving my best friends and the church I grew up in, and to go to a completely new place, to "start fresh" as Abby had explained to me. I didn't want to "start fresh". I liked my comfort zone where we were staying. It wasn't perfect, but it was my home. But we did end up moving.

      I LOVED our new home. I loved it so much that I was afraid that if God wanted us to move again, I wouldn't even consider it. The fellowship at our church was so loving and made you feel at home. It was laid back old fashioned. I got my first experience living in a church parsonage. I loved this new home.

           By the time that the next school year came around, mom was too ill to home school us anymore. My first year of high school I experienced in a public school. We rode the bus to and from school every day, and honestly I hated it. But I pushed my negative feelings aside and faced my new life with a smile and a friendly "good morning" to our bus driver every morning we got on the bus, and a friendly "have a nice day" when we got off the bus. Believe it or not, just having a smile and a friendly word like that actually got our bus driver to start coming to church again!

        School was a difficult challenge to get through. For me, it was like going into battle without a sword. But I prayed often and strived to do my best and get good grades. Then in January, this year of 2012, my mother passed away. We got called out of school on that Friday and I already knew why before we got to the house. One of Paul's teachers was kind enough to drive us home that day. My mind was blown. My first reaction was "why, God?", but then I stopped and thought. I knew it was just another obstacle that I had to climb over, but I knew my strength was not enough. I trusted God completely and made it through safely, and with hardly a scratch remains.

         My life was filled with both big and small challenges, but by God's grace I have made it through them all. Without Jesus, the paragraphs I just wrote would have been a complete waste of your time and mine. Just trust in Jesus, He'll get you through anything.

May God's will be done.



Rachel said...

Dear Megan,

Thank you so much for sharing your heart, my sweet friend! Its so incredible to see how the Lord has been working in your life and I can't wait to see how He continues to work in you as you grow in Him!

Lots of love,

Violet said...

Wow, Megan! It's amazing how God is working in your life and using you to be His witness towards others. This really helped me as recently I've had a tendency to feel low about all the trials I go through. But this reminded me that the Lord is with me whatever happens. Thank you, dear sister in Christ! And I'll be praying for you: I can't even begin to imagine how sad and difficult it must be to loose your mother in such a way. I pray that the Lord would continue to give you strength.
From, Violet